What to Do If Your Ex Takes the Kids Without Permission – Thoughts from a Family Lawyer

When a relationship breaks down, children often become the focus of the most difficult disputes.

One particularly distressing situation is when an ex-partner takes the children without your permission. This scenario can leave you feeling helpless, frightened, and unsure about what steps to take next.

As family lawyers with years of experience helping Australian parents navigate these challenging situations, we understand the panic and confusion you might be experiencing. This guide aims to provide clear, practical information on what to do if you find yourself in this difficult position.

Understanding Parental Abduction in Australia

Before we get into solutions, it’s important to understand what constitutes parental abduction in Australia. In 2023-2024, the Australian Federal Police received over 200 recovery orders related to parental abduction cases, highlighting how unfortunately common these situations can be.

What Is Parental Abduction?

Parental abduction occurs when one parent takes or keeps a child without the consent of the other parent or in breach of a court order. Under Australian law, specifically the Family Law Act 1975, both parents have equal parental responsibility for their children until a court orders otherwise.

Types of Situations That May Arise

1. Breach of informal arrangements: Your ex takes the children outside agreed-upon visitation times
2. Breach of court orders: Your ex doesn’t return the children as specified in existing parenting orders
3. Interstate removal: Your ex takes the children to another state without permission
4. International abduction: Your ex takes the children overseas without your consent

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Immediate Steps to Take

If your children have been taken without your permission, time is often of the essence. Here’s what you should do right away:

1. Attempt Contact

Try to contact your ex-partner directly. While this may seem obvious, in some cases, there might be a misunderstanding about arrangements or a simple miscommunication. Keep records of all attempted communication.

2. Contact the Police

If you can’t reach your ex-partner or they refuse to return the children, contact your local police station immediately. Be prepared to provide:

1. Your children’s full names and dates of birth
2. Recent photos of your children
3. Your ex-partner’s details, including their address and contact information
4. Any relevant court orders
5. Details of when the children were last seen and the circumstances

The police response may vary depending on the circumstances:

1. If there are existing court orders that have been breached, the police may be able to assist in recovering the children.
2. If there are concerns about the children’s safety, the police will treat the matter with higher urgency.
3. If there are no court orders in place and both parents have equal parental responsibility, the police might be limited in what they can do immediately.

3. Gather Evidence

Start documenting everything:

1. Keep logs of all communication with your ex-partner
2. Note dates, times, and details of when the children were taken
3. Collect any evidence that might indicate your ex’s intentions (e.g., messages suggesting they planned to keep the children)
4. Make copies of any existing parenting orders or agreements

4. Contact Legal Services

Reach out to a family lawyer as soon as possible. At Nardi Lawyers, we understand the urgency of these situations and can provide immediate advice tailored to your specific circumstances.

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Legal Remedies Available

Australian family law provides several remedies for parents whose children have been taken without permission. The appropriate action depends on your particular situation:

Recovery Orders

If your children have been taken or kept without your consent, you can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for a Recovery Order. This is a court order that:

1. Requires the return of your children to you or another person
2. Authorises the Australian Federal Police (AFP) to find and recover your children
3. Contains directions about where the children should be delivered and who they should be delivered to

The court prioritises cases involving the wrongful taking of children, and urgent applications can sometimes be heard on the same day they’re filed.

Contravention Applications

If your ex-partner has breached existing parenting orders by taking or keeping your children, you can file a Contravention Application. This alleges that your ex-partner has contravened (breached) the orders without a reasonable excuse.

Penalties for contravention can include:

1. Requiring your ex-partner to attend parenting programs
2. Compensatory time with the children for you
3. Payment of your legal costs
4. Community service
5. Fines
6. In serious cases, imprisonment

Parenting Orders

If you don’t have existing court orders, applying for Parenting Orders should be a priority. These orders can:

1. Specify who the children live with
2. Detail when the children spend time with each parent
3. Address specific issues like travel restrictions or handover arrangements
4. Include injunctions preventing the removal of the children from Australia

Need family lawyers near Doreen, Epping, or Frankston? We advise our clients on the steps that can be taken to prevent child abduction, such as applying for an order through the Family Court or setting up proper parenting agreements and arrangements. Our legal advice is always tailored to your individual situation, ensuring the safety and best interests of your children.

Special Considerations for International Abduction

If you’re concerned your ex has taken or might take your children overseas, additional steps are necessary:

The Hague Convention

Australia is a signatory to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. This international treaty provides a process for the prompt return of children wrongfully removed to or retained in another Hague Convention country.

If your children have been taken to a country that’s a signatory to the Hague Convention, you can apply through the Australian Central Authority for their return. The process aims to return children to their country of habitual residence so that custody issues can be determined there.

Airport Watch List

If you’re concerned about international abduction but it hasn’t yet occurred, you can apply to have your children placed on the Airport Watch List. This alerts the Australian Federal Police if someone attempts to take your children out of Australia.

To place children on the Watch List, you’ll need either:

1. A court order specifically prohibiting the children from being taken overseas
2. To file a Form 4 Application in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia seeking an order to prevent the children’s removal from Australia

Preventative Measures

If you’re concerned that your ex-partner might take the children without permission in the future, consider these preventative steps:

Obtain Specific Court Orders

Seek court orders that:

1. Clearly define parenting arrangements
2. Include specific provisions about travel (both domestic and international)
3. Require both parents’ written consent before children can travel
4. Specify where passports must be kept

Passport Controls

You can:

1. Apply to the Passport Office to have your children placed on the Child Alert System
2. Request that both parents’ signatures be required for passport applications
3. Ask the court to order that passports be held by a neutral third party or the court

Keep Records Updated

Maintain:

1. Current photos of your children
2. Copies of their identification documents
3. Details of your ex-partner’s family and friends who might assist them
4. Records of your children’s medical conditions and medications if applicable

Emotional Support for You and Your Children

Going through this type of situation is emotionally taxing for everyone involved. Here’s how to support yourself and your children:

For Parents

1. Seek professional support through counselling or support groups
2. Connect with organisations like Relationships Australia (1300 364 277) or Lifeline (13 11 14)
3. Practice self-care and maintain your wellbeing during this stressful time
4. Keep a support network of friends and family around you

For Children

Children who have been taken by one parent or caught in these disputes may experience:

1. Confusion and anxiety
2. Feelings of divided loyalty
3. Stress and emotional trauma
4. Difficulty adjusting upon return

Once your children are returned, consider:

1. Age-appropriate explanations about what happened
2. Reassurance that they are not responsible for adult conflicts
3. Professional counselling through services like Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800)
4. Maintaining as much stability and routine as possible

Looking for family lawyers who can support you inSouth Morang, Sunshine, or Rosanna? Our team provides empathetic support, guiding you through the emotional complexities of child recovery with care and understanding.

Common Questions and Concerns

“My ex-partner has taken the kids interstate. Is this legal?”

Without specific court orders preventing interstate travel, it may not be illegal for your ex-partner to take the children interstate. However, if they’re keeping the children away from you outside agreed arrangements, you can still seek legal remedies. Interstate removal often complicates matters, but it doesn’t prevent you from pursuing recovery orders.

“We don’t have formal orders. Does this mean my ex can take the children whenever they want?”

Without court orders, both parents generally have equal parental responsibility. However, taking children without the other parent’s consent can still be considered wrongful removal, especially if it disrupts the children’s established living arrangements. Courts focus on the children’s best interests.

“Will my children have to go to court?”

In most cases, children don’t attend court hearings. The court may appoint an Independent Children’s Lawyer to represent the children’s best interests, and in some cases, older children might speak with a family consultant who then reports to the court.

“How long will it take to get my children back?”

Timeframes vary depending on:

1. Whether you have existing court orders
2. The circumstances of the taking
3. Whether it’s a domestic or international situation
4. Court availability

In urgent cases involving safety concerns, courts can hear matters within 24-48 hours. Recovery orders can be processed quickly, often within days, while full parenting proceedings may take months to resolve completely.

Searching for family lawyers who support Greensborough, Heidelberg, or Mill Park families? We have a proven track record in resolving complex child recovery cases, both domestically and internationally.

Child Recovery & Family Law: How Nardi Lawyers Can Help

If your ex-partner has taken thechildren without permission, don’t wait to seek help. The steps you take in the first 24-48 hours can significantly impact the outcome of your case.

At Nardi Lawyers, we understand that when your children have been taken, every minute counts. Our experienced family law team can provide the following:

1. Immediate strategic advice tailored to your specific situation
2. Urgent court applications for recovery orders and injunctions
3. Representation in contravention proceedings if court orders have been breached
4. Assistance with international abduction cases, including Hague Convention applications
5. Preventative legal measures to protect your children from future removal
6. Ongoing support throughout what can be a lengthy and emotionally draining process

Our approach combines legal expertise with compassion and understanding. We know that behind every case is a parent desperate to be reunited with their children, and we work tirelessly to achieve the best possible outcome for your family.

We also help with other facets of family law, such as divorce, financial agreements, domestic violence, and mediation services.

Contact us today at 0491 626 283 or 0493 141 014 for a confidential consultation with an experienced family lawyer. Our team is available to provide urgent advice and set immediate actions in motion to help recover your children.